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Print Edition> Nation
UPDATED: July 29, 2013 NO. 31 AUGUST 1, 2013
Fit to Be Tied
Men and women alike share frustrations over growing costs of marriage
By Yuan Yuan
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LOOKING FOR LOVE: Singles and their families participate in a blind dating event in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province, on April 20 (XU XIAN)

Many online posts state complain that the tradition's utility is now obsolete and puts undue strain on young men. A man surnamed Zhu, who declined to give his full name, told Xinhua News Agency that he had to save for five years and take out loans from relatives to pay the 80,000 yuan ($13,032) his fiancee's parents demanded.

The man is from central China's Henan Province, and had been in a relationship for two years when he had to borrow money from relatives before paying off his bride's family when he wed in 2009. He only paid off his bride price debt last year.

Dour wagers

When men are paying to marry women, the latter are putting up big money just to find potential suitors.

Enter Liang Yali, 41. Her company, Yali Marriage Quotient Club, teaches women to cultivate MQ, or "marriage quotient," in seeking their Mr. Right. The price for four two-day classes and tailored coaching is 11,800 yuan ($1,922). The company also designs other courses that range from two hours to three days and the cheapest class is 4,800 yuan ($782).

"That's very little to pay to improve your life, to meet your soul mate and start a family," said 52-year-old Kenneth Davis, Liang's second husband and the company's executive director.

Liang's company held a matchmaking party in Shanghai during May, advertising the event as "training to seek a husband."

A woman who identified herself as Coco said that she already spent 100,000 yuan in attending classes at Yali. "At first, I spent 40,000 yuan ($6,516) on the course cultivating loving wisdom, and I felt it was very useful so I followed up by spending another 60,000 yuan ($9,774)."

"We're not a matchmaking service," said Liang."We're more like an educational institution. We offer classes that help women understand themselves better, and build their confidence so they are more outgoing."

"First, Liang usually interviews her students, so she can understand what they are like and learn about their previous relationships," said Ding Ning, who handles general inquiries for the company. "Students are told to attend classes at different frequencies, depending on their level. We also track their progress once they have finished the course."

Liang said that they have already accepted about 160 students and 60 percent of her students in 2012 have already "graduated" by tying the knot.

In the first year, all students were over 25 years old, but in 2013, more women born after 1990 attended. The youngest is just 17 years old.

"That demand may be explained by the sixth national census, which found the number of unmarried women in Shanghai has outpaced that of unmarried men over the past decade," said Zhou Xiaopeng, a consultant at one of China's top three dating agencies, Baihe.com. "As of last year, shengnu, or leftover women, accounted for almost 20 percent of the city's female population, an increase of 2.2 percentage points since 2000."

"Marriage is not easy for either men or women," said Zhou Xiaopeng, "While men are complaining about expensive bride prices, women are complaining of the difficulties in finding the right person, and paying for various training. Basically, marriage is not an easy topic, even without financial or emotional issues, as it involves much more."

Email us at: yuanyuan@bjreview.com

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