"Currently, more than half the number of people who go to marriage counselors are those in their twenties -- the 1980s' one-child generation -- as compared with last year, when 90 percent of those with marital issues were aged 30 to 40," said Hu Shenzhi, a marriage counselor with the All-China Women's Federation. He said he had seen more than 20 young couples in 2006 -- all born in the 1980s -- whose marriages were close to ending.

Ning Yuan, a lawyer from the Guangdong Fazhi Shengbang Lawyer Office, said in 2006 he had counseled more marriages of those born in the 1980s than ever before. Compared to just two divorce cases in 2005, she dealt with nine such cases in 2006.

Surveys by a law office in Guangzhou show that the number of divorce cases among the one-child generation is increasing. Hu attributed to this mostly to their having had a spoilt upbringing. Their parents tended to help in all matters, resulting in them lacking a sense of forgiveness and tolerance.

"Most of the couples said, 'she/he doesn't understand me','" said Hu. "Moreover, most of them had married after only two or three months of knowing one another," Hu added.

He put down the reasons for disharmony to some common traits among the couples such as being too selfish to contribute to the family and a dislike for chores. He said many couples were also driven by a desire for a perfect life but were not prepared for the hardships of establishing a family life. They soon became disillusioned with reality and ended up heading for the courts.

The survey for some courts in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province in South China and found that most divorces were described as a "peaceful quick end", not like for couples with years of marriage behind them, needing prolonged mediation.

Hu said couples raised in one-child homes are usually self-indulgent. They are self-centered, used to being the focus of others and selfish, unlike those born in the 1960s and 1970s. These traits affect the stability of their marriages. Over time, this one-child generation begins to expect and ask for too much from the marriage, and the smallest challenges and difficulties tend to lead to divorce.

Many couples are unable to make the compromises that every marriage needs. Stubbornness from both partners lead to fights and arguments over the most trivial issues.

Parenting mistakes are to blame for most of the problems of the one-child generation, said Hu. Parents tend to make all the decisions for the child when she/he faces problems, and the child is treated as a piece of artwork.

Parents set the goals for the child and all education is centered on this target. Thus, they have the child under their control, leaving little room for him/her to deal with life's problems. As a result, when this child grows up and face problems in his or her marriage, they see no other way to resolve this than to escape the marriage through divorce. Hence, parents must ensure that children are raised to be independent with a clear understanding of their rights, obligations and responsibilities.

Source: Information Times