At this critical moment, a retreat saved their relationship. "We planned to get divorced after fulfilling our promise to the church to take part in the retreat, where we were told again and again about the importance of introspection, especially in the face of troubles and conflicts," Wu said. "We were asked to find our own deficiencies and tolerate those in others. Thank goodness, this changed our decision to divorce! I used to think I was good at self-examination!"

At a retreat, people typically travel to a serene rural setting, free from daily pressures and activities, and talk to each other while priests give lectures.

According to Wu, after finding so many affectionate Christian couples at the retreat, she and her husband began to ponder their respective wrongdoings and admitted they were both responsible for their frustrated marriage.

Now, the reconciled couple studies the Bible harder than ever. "It's not enough to understand the basic meaning and principles, but to apply these useful instructions in real life is more important. Deeds outweigh words," Qin said.

'Do no harm'

Qin Shan is a journalist for a magazine in Beijing. While conducting interviews in rural areas, he met his wife Wu Wen, who was then a rural teacher. Influenced by Wu, a Christian, he turned into Christianity too.

Qin said he concealed his identity as a Christian from his parents until he was about to have a wedding ceremony in church with his bride Wu. " I did not know how to explain to my parents--they would suspect that I had betrayed my country," he said.

Qin's concern was not groundless. He still remembers that his father used to tell him that Christianity came to China "on cannonballs" after the Opium War in 1840. The religion was then blamed for the huge misery of the Chinese people. It was viewed as a philanthropic religion only to be used by the Western invaders as a tool, and this played a role in turning people against it.

The Chinese, especially the older generations, find it hard to forget the humiliation and pain China suffered after it was defeated by the British, and so Christianity, which closely followed in the wake of the British cannons, left no good impression on Qin as he grew up listening to these stories.

Qin's father, however, shows great tolerance for his son's choice. Reflecting an attitude that is quite typical among the Chinese, he said, "Religion is no more than personal values," but he also warns Qin to be a patriotic citizen, never doing harm to the country.